Open Letter

An open letter to my family

I am a drug abuser. I need help.

Don’t solve my problem for me. This only makes me lose respect for you and for myself.

Don’t lecture, moralise, scold, blame, or argue whether I’m stoned or sober. It may make you feel better, but it makes the situation worse.

Don’t accept my promises. The nature of my illness prevents my keeping them, even though I mean them at the time. Promises are only my way of postponing pain. And don’t keep switching agreements; if an agreement is made, stick to it.

Don’t lose your temper with me. It will destroy you and any possibility of helping me.

Don’t let your anxiety for me make you do what I should do for myself.

Don’t believe everything I tell you. Often I don’t even know the truth – let alone tell it.

Don’t cover up or try to spare me the consequences of my using. It may reduce the crisis, but it will make my illness worse.

Above all, don’t run away from reality as I do. Drug dependence, my illness, gets worse as my using continues.

Start now to learn, to understand, to plan for recovery. Find Families Anonymous, a group which exists to help families in just your situation.

I need help – from a doctor, a psychologist, a counsellor, from some people in a self-help programme who’ve recovered from a drug problem themselves, and from a Power greater than myself.

4 Responses to “Open Letter”

  1. anon January 21, 2015 at 11:37 pm #

    Thank you for these clear suggestions; unfortunately I have already done exactly what you advise against – moralised, scolded etc etc. It’s so difficult not being able to have a sensible conversation.
    I can’t really see what use most doctors or psychologists or counsellors would be. Doctors mostly just offering big pharma products (which I do not trust) and psychologists mostly oversimplifying. Recovered users or other family members would be more help I would have thought, or would at least understand and support. I’ll keep an open mind on the higher power. Nothing except our family members getting away from drugs would actually help.
    I am not keen on having my name displayed.

    • Office January 24, 2015 at 6:04 am #

      Hi there, thanks for your comment and glad you found the site helpful.
      There is a discussion forum where you can post messages more easily then on the website itself,
      it can be found at http://famanon.co.uk/forum/. Then others can see your message and reply.
      It is an anonymous forum so you wouldn’t use your own name.
      Best wishes

  2. anon June 30, 2015 at 11:19 am #

    I feel so alone and that I am being judged in the same way as my son im trying my hardest to be there for him I love him. He was resuscitated the other day and I thought if he’s going to die I’d rather it be with me than in some dirty flat, but I only have a one bedroom flat and he’s falling asleep with lit roll ups of legal highs as well as heroin im at the doctors with him now and he’s asleep I’m not sure what more I can do.

    • Office July 2, 2015 at 5:29 am #

      Hello, you are not alone, many others have experienced the same pain.
      There is a discussion forum where you can post messages more easily then on the website itself,
      it can be found at http://famanon.co.uk/forum/. Then others can see your message and reply.
      It is an anonymous forum so you wouldn’t use your own name.
      Best wishes

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