4 Destructive Forces

To enable our meetings to be truly constructive, it is necessary to recognize and repress four destructive forces that can cause dissention and eventually destroy the group.

The first destructive force is the discussion of any religion. Our programme is open to all, regardless of our various beliefs, or lack of belief. Each member’s understanding of a Higher Power is a strictly personal, private choice.

The second destructive force is gossip. We are here to share our feelings, attitudes and reactions to our situation–to help us in applying the principles of Families Anonymous to our own lives. Careless discussion of other people’s personal difficulties is contrary to the principles of our programme. What we say here stays here!

The third destructive force is dominance . FA is based on suggestion, interchange of experience, and rotation of leaders. No member should direct, assume authority, or give advice. Our leaders are chosen, not to govern, but to serve.

The fourth destructive force is dwelling on the past. Harbouring painful thoughts and speaking endlessly about hurtful times with our loved ones block our recovery. Besides being detrimental to our personal progress, continuous behaviour of this type within the meeting, week after week, is destructive to the group’s progress and unity. Such behaviour can lead us back to the Third Destructive Force, which is dominance.

Instead, we let go of the past by listening to other members, reading our FA literature, and learning new ways to change our actions and attitudes, thereby improving our lives.